It's a Beautiful Thing! (More scary pictures)

You might recall a few posts back when I was describing my initial meeting with Jacob.  I was having a hard time wrapping my head around the concept of describing what I might look like at my goal weight wandering around the beach in my bathing suit. If interested, click here to refresh your memory.  Recently while I was sifting through pictures, my own memory was refreshed as I came across these.  It ALL came flooding back.

Cancun, Mexico - 278 pounds

I mean, look at me? No wonder I couldn't picture myself any other way. I knew what I looked like in a bathing suit on a beach because I'd been there! I lived there and quite frankly must have been comfortable to some extent, because when I met with Jacob and was asked to describe myself at my goal weight of 145, I couldn't do it.  I couldn't picture myself any other way. The crazy thing is I knew it was bad, meaning my weight had gotten out of control, but I had no idea just how bad it was until I go back and look at some of these pictures. Doesn't that happen to a lot of us? Pictures tell all? Tears well up in my eyes just looking at them. It's heart breaking to me. With a family history of severe heart disease, as well as diabetes, I look at these pictures and see a girl whose life could have very well been shortened due to poor health and merely not taking care of herself. I couldn't imagine not being here to raise my family, see my grandkids, and enjoy as many years of earthly life as God sees fit.  How could I let my body get so out of hand? I mean to think I walked around like that? Eek!

Looking back now, I can see how being very overweight (even obese - that's what I was) and seeing pictures of yourself can not only be depressing, but it can really give you a sense of helplessness or thoughts of doubt. When you see yourself like that you start to question if losing weight is even possible. And when you're SO BIG and out of shape as I was, it makes it that much harder to even try to imagine. I mean, to lose enough weight to make a difference and get to where you want to be almost seems impossible. The thoughts start to come...If it seems so out of reach and would take forever, why even try?


The best part is, anybody can do this!  Once I started, it felt so right and pounds started to melt off.  No, it wasn't always easy, but it wasn't unreachable either. It's been over a year now that I've been at my goal, even considering obstacles (they'll come in future posts) that have been thrown at me and not allowed me to always be at the gym or to eat right. Regardless, I've been able to maintain what I've become and am finding so much joy playing in this new body that's half the size it used to be! Thank you Jacob Wilson for painting the picture of what I've become. I can see it now! It's a beautiful thing!

Church Camp - This past summer - 145 pounds!

Disclaimer:  Normally, you wouldn't find me in a pink bathing suit (I know...SHOCKER!)  but I didn't own a skinny people bathing suit at the time, wanted to play in the river with the kids, so my skinny friend Rachael let me borrow one of hers.