I know I've mentioned this before, but I'm having the hardest time finding FAT pictures to share with not only you on this blog, but also to help myself reflect on how far I've come. I've spent some time the last several days going through old pictures and have come across some. (One is a real doozy!) For the most part I tend to be still hiding behind everything and everyone in 99% of the pictures.
As crazy as it sounds, if I had to do it all over again, I'd get out the camera! My kids already think I'm the "camera queen" because I don't go very many places without taking a zillion pictures. It's just I was rarely in the pictures as I was either the one taking the pictures or didn't want to be seen in the pictures. Looking back I wish I had more of those "fat" pictures to ponder. Mostly because when I see the few that I do have they are shocking to me. They really pull and tug at something inside me and make me realize how unhappy and unhealthy I really was behind all that fat and skin. Was I really that big?! Then I smile as I study pictures of myself now. I feel that sense of escape. The feeling that I'm not trapped anymore. That the burden has been lifted. I feel like I can breathe. I feel like nothing is holding me back. That I can be who I've always wanted to be!
I was terrible about even taking "progression" pictures along the way. I have some, but they're not specific to any certain progress mark or months on my journey per say, just different occasions when pictures were taken.