It's not unusual for people to give me a hard time about my food choices whether at a family dinner, a large gathering, or at work. It happens. Common things said are, "Paige would never eat that!" or "Paige, don't watch what I'm eating." What about "You eat naughty things?!" Or how about "If the skinny girl is going to eat some then I guess it's okay!" It's like being talked about as if I have cooties or some sort of disease. Then there are the ones who try to dress me and tell me what I should and or shouldn't be wearing. (Seriously?) Or what about the people that ask me about my workouts or my running regimen and then do everything they can to out do me and my goals. Always comparing to my routine and how they can do it better or faster. (Sad but true.)
These people are sabotagers. And the sad thing is that even though I've been hurt by them time and time again, there is a side of me that feels sorry for them. Sorry that they are so unhappy that they feel the need to out do or be better than others. You see, that's the problem. Most times these sabotagors are people who are struggling themselves with some aspect of their life and it honestly makes them feel better to make comments and excuses about your food, make wardrobe suggestions, as well as make you feel as though they are out doing you in some way when it comes to getting in shape.
The good news is that you don't have to let these people ruin your progress. This was a hard lesson for me to learn as I fought with the idea of why people would do such a thing, but then I quickly was reminded that God has given me a strong sense of strength and will power in all of this and regardless of what others think and say, I am fighter. I fought long and hard for what I've gained and the body I now have. Nothing or no one has the right to take that away from me.
Some of the things that helped me along the way: Hold tight to the positives. Make a list of the victories. And Don't let ANYONE sabotage your progress! You are the star of your own show. Let no one for any reason get the glory in this except for God.
How sad that people do this. As I was reading I kept thinking how this sounds like some people I know at church that do this. They have to do more than me (activities, callings, even how many kids they have!). I am really struggling with it. Thanks for sharing how you deal with it :)
ReplyDeleteI am my own worst sabotager, and I will forever struggle with this. I am trying to get it in check, but just can't seem to get over it.
ReplyDeleteOh Paige! This is a hard one for me. My own sweet daughter is my sabotager (i feel guilty writing this) She is 22 and the smartest and cutest girl I know. She has so many wonderful things to be proud of in herself. I sure dont feel like I am competing with her in anything but I think she does. She makes remarks and rolls her eyes if I mention weight loss or runnning. I try to be sensitive to this but it's hard when it's your own family member and I feel she is being mean and disrespectful but I dont want to upset her more by calling attention to it.
ReplyDeleteI've been following you for awhile and am so encouraged by your words! I have very recently been dealing with sabotagers! Actually it's more like a passive aggressive insults....How much weight have you lost? Oh but aren't you breast feeding, that just melts the weight away doesn't it? BAHHH NO IT DOESN'T! (At least not for me!) I just feel like they minimize the work that I have put in for the past 3 1/2 months. I usually try to blow it off, but sometimes it stings!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your post today :) I'm going to keep on keeping on :)
Thank you! I think we tend to believe that in this journey everyone would be on our side. Some people, even those close to us are not open to change. It's a very important thing to recognize. An even more important thing to keep from getting in the way. Slow and steady wins the race. Do not be discouraged by folks who want to 'out do' you. They can't take away anything that you've done. They can aspire to greater expectations...take the high road and cheer them on. It's the last thing they expect. :D
ReplyDeleteI am not very far in my journey...and I have had to put my blinders on just the same. Thank you for your inspiration and for bringing up a topic that can be hard to discuss.
Oh Yes!!! Let me tell you...
ReplyDeleteEven *we* can sabotage our own success so we have to be very careful! That is a whole other blog post though!
ReplyDeleteI was my biggest sabotager for years. Now, I'm so focused on my goal, that no one could sabotage me if they tried!
ReplyDeleteIn hindsight, I have been a saboteur of others, saying things like "you don't need to lose weight" or "you're a freak for wanting to do triathlons all the time" (although to be fair, it was to a friend who was anorexic/would over-exercise in highschool and I was concerned she was going back down that path). But I have definitely also sabotaged myself. Another friend and I were co-dependent saboteurs and it's funny, because as each of us independently increased our fitness and lost weight we drifted apart. It would seem that eating junk sustained our friendship and nothing more. Sad. But I'm much more focused these days, and finding myself attracted towards friends who are also on a weight loss or fitness journey because, whilst we can on occasion be enablers, we are mostly supportive of one another's goals. I still sabotage myself occasionally, but not as much. I can do this. I can be a better me. I WILL be a better me!
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, I'm my own worst saboteur. :(
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