I just finished week one of training for my 3rd half marathon coming up the end of June. My best friend and I have embarked on this adventure every spring since I hit my goal weight 2.5 years ago. It was that new goal I had set for myself after losing all the weight. Something else that I knew was hard and what seemed like impossible at the time. It was a stretch for me to even consider such a task but then again, so was losing 133 pounds. I somehow seemed to conquer that one but was wanting something to keep me focused and help me maintain a healthy lifestyle. Now, you probably should know up front that just because I've run soon-to-be 3 half marathons does not mean I am a year-round runner. In fact, it's quite the opposite. I only have run each year consistently for the 3 months leading up to the race. Being a runner was never even in my thought process, let alone adopting the idea of being a full-time runner, so that's not the way I've chosen to go. You see, I've had such a love/hate relationship with running. Why? I'm not really sure to be honest. That is something I'm currently digging deep to find out. I love the way it makes me feel, I don't dislike every run, and often times in fact I look forward to the Saturday long runs. Also, when I see people running while I'm driving down the road, I long to be on a run. But then there are the moments when I get very worked up before a run. Not believing I can do it, dealing then with a wave of emotions that sends me into a spiral of thoughts. The agony over the idea of having to run that day torments me all day long. I have no idea why my brain plays these tricks on me because the fact of the matter is, I know I can do it. I've done it twice before!
Last week when Jacob, my trainer, and I were talking to the group of ladies that had just finished the Biggest Loser Challenge (click here), Jacob mentioned something that I didn't realize affected both him and me. He said, "To see these two half marathon shirts and 2 medals sitting here on this table is remarkable to me. The girl who worked hard, pressed on, and earned these medals, is the same girls that for weeks on end when asked to run to the stop sign at the end of the parking lot, would argue with me and tell me she couldn't. That is determination!"
So, since last Saturday and hearing him say that, I've been on a mission to figure out why the running thing has been so back and forth for me. And because I seem to like running more than not, I'm determined to win! I don't run for time. I don't run to beat a PR. I don't run to be the best in my age group. (Nope, I'm for sure not there.) For now I'm focusing on falling in love with something that has intrigued me for a long time. Something I never even dreamed would be a part of my lifestyle. Something that makes me feel like I am in control. Something that makes me feel like I'm on top of the world!
I love to run in the rain, so yesterday was the perfect ending to week one of training.