Monday, June 4, 2012

This is What I Know....

I know what it's like to weigh nearly 300 pounds.
I know what it's like to want to eat where no one can see me.  
I know what it's like to wake up in the morning felling very bloated and full.
I know what it's like to look at myself in the mirror and cry because of the disappointment I see.
I know what it's like to have to ask for a seat belt extension when boarding an airplane.
I know what it's like to eat a whole box of Kraft macaroni and cheese all to myself.
I know what it's like to always be pulling at the front of my shirt to hide "the roll."
I know what it's like to start a new eating plan only to have it fail.
I know what it's like to sit in a chair and hear myself wheeze.
I know what it's like to have red marks in betwenn my thighs from them rubbing together.
I know what it's like to shop in the "fat lady" section at the store.
I know what it's like to eat becasue I am bored.
I know what it's like to grow out of clothes.
I know what it's like to have a closet full of clothes that I've already grown out of.
I know what it's like to crave bread and pasta.
I know what it's like to live in a fat body.
I know what it's like to feel constant indigestion.
I know what it'a like to cry myself to sleep with who I've become.
I know what it's like to not want to get up in the morning.
I know what it's like to have no motivation.
I know what it's like to think it's impossible.
I know what it's like to send the family off on a hike or a bike ride and have to stay home due to size and no energy.
I know what it's like to be a failure at something.
I know what it's like to catch my "fat" self in a 360 degrees mirror.
I know what it's like to have to suck it in to button the pants.
I know what it's like to hope the weather is cold enought to allow me to hide under a jacket or vest all day.
I know what it's like to feel like people are staring at me when I go out to eat at a restaurant.
I know what it's like to aviod the camera and not want to be in pictures.
I know what it's like to feel hopeless.
I know what it's like to give up.
I know what it's like to be made fun of.
I know what it's like to want to be like everyone else.
I know what it's like to feel trapped or like a prisoner in my own body.
But the good thing is, this is what I also know........

I know what it's like to set goals and accomplish them.
I know what it's like to treat my body like it's worth something.
I know what it's like to be determined.
I know what it's like to smile
I know what it's like to be normal.
I know what it feels like to crave healthy food.
I know what it's like to climb a mountain.
I know what it's like to have hope.
I know what it's like to ride the rides at the amusement park.
I know what it's like to buy clothes that fit.
I know what it's like to say "thank you" when someone gives me a compliment.
I know what it's like to share with others my testimony of what I've been through.
I know what it's like to dream.
I know what it's like to work hard.
I know what it's like to eat what I want in moderation.
I know what it's like to be happy.
I know what it's like to be in control.
I know what it's like to not be afraid of the camera.
I know what it's like to be a size 6.
I know what it's like to encourage others.
I know what it's like to have energy.
I know what it's like to cook healthy.
I know what it's like to love what I see in the mirror.
I know what it's like to enjoy shopping for clothes.
I know what it's like to love to exercise.
I know what it's like to feel healthy.
I know what it's like to learn to run.
I know what it's like to have people tell me I'm beautiful.
I know what it's like to run a half marathon.
I know what it's like to lose 133 pounds.
I know what it's like to think "I can do anything!"
                         I know what it's like to be a winner.
This is what I know!

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24 comments:

  1. I LOVE this!

    I'm slowly checking things off on your second list and I can't wait to accomplish them all! Well. Most of them. I don't know if I'll ever be able to pull off a half marathon like you! :)

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  2. Great inspiration Paige:) I also know what all the first list of what you knows are like. I'm still working on the second list but hope to accomplish all you have. Thanks for the motivation:)

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  3. I know that I love this post!

    Great, inspiring post!!

    Make it a great day.

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  4. You always make me smile. Thanks Paige.

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  5. Paige, I love this post. A lot. You are amazing!

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  6. What a great post!! love it. you are such an inspiration!

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  7. What a wonderful post Paige!! God has given you such a gift for sharing your journey! I love your blog!! So many of us have been through that first list, here's to second lists for us all!!!

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  8. Your blog is so inspiring, especially this post! You have done something amazing and I'm so glad that you have chosen to share that with people. You make a difference.

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  9. Paige, you really are inspiring people- thanks

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  10. Thank you for this. Thank you.

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  11. SO inspiring :) Thinking I should write down what I know NOW. Good eye opener for me to stop dwelling in how I used to feel. Thanks for your posts..they always make me sit back and re-think situations I may be having or give me the kick I needed.

    Marisa

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  12. I so needed to read this today. Thank you! Thank you!

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  13. I want to know what you know Paige. I want to experience it for myself.

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  14. You are awesome Paige, thank you for sharing. xx

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  15. I could have made the first exactly as you have. I WILL make the second list too!

    Thank you for another great post!

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  16. I LOVE this post! Amazing!!!!

    Thank you!!

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  17. Thank you, again Paige! You inspire in a way that makes me think I can actually reach my goals. I was feeling puny today looking at my goal and how far I have to go...but your post gave me a burst of excitement, motivation and hope. Thank you!

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  18. This post hits so close to home. I hope I never have to go back to feeling the way I did before I started losing weight. Very inspiring. I am your newest follower. Love your blog.

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  19. I LOVE your post. You are so honest and inspiring!!

    ❀Barbara❀
    My Running Shortz

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  20. Love this inspiring list of things you know. Thank You!

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  21. Ohhhhhh, I just came across your blog. With tears, I, too, have a 'I know what it's like list.' Not written as eloquent, but I've lived, and am living it. Lost 50 pounds to date but when I couldn't ride a roller coaster with my family because of my size, it honestly broke my heart. Thank you for the reminder that CHANGE IS POSSIBLE!!

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  22. WOW, I know what it is like on the first group. I pray to know what it is like in the second group. With Gods help I will. Thank you! Gracie

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  23. This is an amazing post, and it made me cry - and be filled with hope and determination. :) ♥

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  24. Again - awesome post - I had tears in my eyes as I read through the list - this is so me right now and I feel like I can begin my journey of weight loss because of your encouragement and joy.
    I said it earlier this is the first time I visited your blog and I have been reading it for the past hour - I feel encouraged! Thanks

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